When feelings rise and overflow, I walk, I walk, with nowhere to go. Sometimes I run from those I know, Away and afraid of the pressure I stow. I search for things to disconnect, Through twisted screens, I feel the grind. But with creative shades, I find A world to ease my weary mind. I laugh alone, I joke, I play, It feels the same for me, anyway. I grab my food and find a seat, A quiet corner, a simple treat. The sky is nice, the air feels light, My sandwich—avocado. Bite. A boy on top of slides, he meditates and smokes, I guess we both avoid deep-thinking folks. No need for talk, no need for thought, Philosophy is what I curse. Complexity’s a web I dread, I just want my mind to stay a bit empty instead. At this moment, I dream no dreams, I reach no stars, Big hopes feel like they taste scars. Like sticky fingers, damp with grass, I’d rather let such a sensation pass. I’m just a stranger here, you see, With red lipstick on my lips. I fight the urge to lick it clean, A quiet contest, yet unseen. We all wear halos in this park, A secret glow, a hidden grace. Competing in this silent game, Who’s weirdest, who has untold shame? I don’t win, but they don’t have to know, Their whispers fail to break my flow. Let me tell you a secret about me: i am a fearful, prideful kid. If I sense your tender side, Beware the force I try to hide. I might push you down and leave you still, Even when your heart beats still.
I smash maroons to see if the core Could hold the weight that I explore. Am I cruel for testing limits? I love to swim, but ocean eyes Make me wonder if I’m wise. I’m sorry for this, though I try, Learning to love with kindness high. Even in weakness, I still need To see a spark, a strength to lead. I walk again, I blend, I stray, My mind is far, though here I stay. I lean against a wall so rough, It pokes my skin, nostalgic stuff. But don’t fear, friend, my solemn tone, I squeeze my thoughts when I’m alone. In melancholy, I find my might, Creativity takes flight. With this stanza, I’ll fake it 'til I make it right :)